Relationship with partner 2017

The Challenge

I felt there was no respect shown towards me by the father of my child. I would often raise the concern. There would be short term improvements, but over time things would get worse

Actions Taken

1) Sought support from the Doctor due to my depression at the time
2) Recommended by the Police to contact Women’s Aid
3) Women’s Aid assisted me in obtaining an injunction

Achieved

Injunction granted

Benefits

1) Gave me the mental space to develop myself, for example, College and the Quality 4 Life Self-Improvement Programme
2) Created the foundation for mutual respect and better communication with the father of my child
3) Positive environment created by both parents to nurture their child

Personal relationship (Self) 2017

The Challenge

I felt I had no self-identity

Actions Taken

1) Sought support from others
2) Enrolled on the Quality 4 Life Self Improvement Programme

Achieved

1) Self-Awareness allowed me to identify my likes, dislikes, strengths and weakness.
2) Group Awareness allowed me to understand how the behaviours of others impacted my emotions and mental health
3) Conflict Handling allowed me to learn and develop new techniques for resolving problems
4) Active Listening allowed me to learn and develop new techniques to help me to understand others and communicate my thoughts and feelings.
5) Self-Reflection allowed me to learn and develop techniques which helped me to monitor my progress and identify where improvements need to be made.

Benefits

1) Greater self confidence
2) More self belief
3) Increased self value
4) Became motivated and set personal goals for the next 5-10 years

Relationship with partner 2018

The Challenge

I felt confused and unsupported because there was an anonymous allegation made against the father of my child with no proof and Social Services gave me two options which were, to stop contact, or to continue contact, but if further allegations are made, I would also be made responsible

Actions Taken

1) Stopped contact and sought support from Citizens Advice
2) Went through the process of the Family Courts

Achieved

Myself, and the father of my child, were praised by the family court because we were able to come to a mutual agreement and they could see our focus and priority was our child. They said it was very rare parents could put their own emotions aside and come together

Benefits

1) Both parents created a positive environment to nurture their child
2) Gained more respect towards one another and improved our communication and parenting relationship

Friend relationship 2019

The Challenge

I felt I wasn’t truly understood by an old friend, and I would often support them, but they would not support me

Actions Taken

1) Spoke with my friend about the issue
2) Listened to their response
3) There was no mutual respect and understanding, so I made the decision to step back from the friendship

Achieved

Mutual agreement on common grounds

Benefits

1) I recognised what I want in a friend and what I didn’t want
2) Recognised my personal values

Personal relationship 2019

The Challenge

I felt I had no voice (my perception)

Actions Taken

1) Expressing myself through art
2) Shared my artwork with others:
    -School Play Therapist
    -College Tutor
    -Family Support Worker

Achieved

The Family Support Worker and the Play Therapist were so inspired they arranged for me to have a meeting for me to share my artwork with the Head Teacher at the Primary School

Benefits

1) The Head Teacher liked my style of art and commissioned me to create paintings to represent verses from the Bible
2) Other people being able to see my true value

Work relationship 2019

The Challenge

I felt the process I used to overcome my personal obstacles could be beneficial to others who also struggle to express their feelings verbally

Actions Taken

Shared my artwork with local community centres

Achieved

The community centre was inspired by my artwork and could see value and potential to help others

Benefits

1) Connecting with stakeholders
2) Meeting new people

Work relationship 2019

The Challenge

I felt there was a benefit to help others express themselves through art, but I didn’t have the right environment to do so

Actions Taken

1) Worked with the staff at the community centre
2) Developed SAH Arts

Achieved

Ran two sessions of the SAH Arts Self-Development Programme, but it came to an end due to COVID 19 Lockdown

Benefits

1) Connecting with stakeholders
2) Meeting new people
3) Helping others express themselves through art
4) Gaining experience and skills

Family relationship 2020

The Challenge

I felt as a wider family across the three generations we had poor communication. For example, after the murder of George Floyd, a member of the family sought help on social media instead of speaking with the family. In addition, the Pandemic Lockdown prevented the family seeing each other face to face

Actions Taken

1) Define the problem
2) Measure by conducting a survey of how well each family member knows each other across the generations
3) Identified the root cause of the poor communication
4) Developed ideas on how to improve the communication within the family
5) Scheduled fortnightly meetings via Zoom to share our personal life journeys

Achieved

1) We had family Zoom meetings every two weeks. One week, a member of the family would share their story, past, present, and future and then the other week we would have family fun nights. For example, quizzes, and countdown.
2)The sessions ran for a period of 6 months
3) The most common core values amongst the family were creativity and supporting others

Benefits

1) Identified the families core values and beliefs
2) Gained greater mental health awareness across the family
3) Better understanding across the generations  which has unified the family
4) Documented the individual family stories which helps future generations to know their heritage
5) Family members being more open and honest by sharing their knowledge and personal life experiences

Relationship with partner 2022

The Challenge

I felt there was no respect shown towards me, especially when my partner was under the strong influence of alcohol. The relationship worsened over time and became physically and verbally abusive

Actions Taken

1) Sought support from family and friends, the police, and a family support worker
2) Stopped all contact with my ex

Achieved

1) Expressed my emotions in a controlled way, for example, in the gym and to my key people
2) I opened up with my family and friends who listened and were non-judgemental

Benefits

1) Staying on track
2) Managing my mental health
3) Gained confidence and self-belief

Relationship with partner 2022

The Challenge

I felt overwhelmed because my child’s anxiety worsened due to COVID 19 and the Pandemic Lockdown

Actions Taken

1) Documented weekly of my child’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
2) Shared the documents with my child’s school to seek further support and keep teachers and parents aligned.
3) Purchased items to help with her worries such as worry dolls, lights for her bedroom, Alexa to listen to music at night, books about worries and fears for us to read.
4) Made time after school for my child to express her emotions and any concerns
5) Helped my daughter express her emotions through art
6) Used materials to help support my child such as Will Power and Starving the Anxiety Gremlin

Achieved

1) Created a mock-up of a children’s book based on my child’s experiences of worries
2) Supported my child with her anxiety

Benefits

1) Happier child
2) My child gained emotional intelligence (better self-awareness and understanding of others)
3) Helped to improve my child’s capability with dealing with problems
4) My child gained self-belief
5) I gained more insight of my child and her needs to be able to continue supporting her

Work relationship 2022-2023

The Challenge

I felt anxious about meeting new people and lacked self-belief

Actions Taken

1) Before the meetings with others, I would have a pre-meeting with my Manger (Dad) to discuss the agenda and the desired outcomes
2) Had support from my Manager (Dad) during the meetings regarding my anxiety
3) Actively contributed to the discussions with the book ghostwriter, the book publisher, the brand designer, and the website designer
4) Weekly self-reflections using the ABCD report (Achieved, Benefits, Concerns and Do next) which captured my growth and development

Achieved

1) Established mutually respectful professional relationships with stakeholders
2) Attended all online meetings with stakeholders

Benefits

1) I felt my voice was heard
2) Stakeholders see my true value
3) Greater self-belief and self-confidence

Work relationship 2022

The Challenge

I felt having just words in a book, it would be harder to get the emotions across

Actions Taken

1) Understood the emotion behind each chapter of the book
2) Created the illustrations

Achieved

1) I was able to capture the emotion and meanings behind each chapter of the book.
2) All illustrations were approved by the Author

Benefits

1) People are more engaged when the stories are visually represented
2) The illustrations complement the words written in the book
3) Helps the reader to gain more understanding
4) Allows the reading experience to be more fun

Work relationship 2023

The Challenge

I felt others weren’t able to see my true value because I was working from home and working for my Dad

Actions Taken

1) Worked with my Manager (Dad) and the website designer
2) Created the content for the SAH Arts page and the infographics across the website

Achieved

1) Created the grow-with-ibis.co.uk, website
2) I have an art gallery for my paintings online, grow-with-ibis.co.uk/gallery
3) Achievement of a personal goal I set in 2019

Benefits

1) Others can see my true value and capability, “Connecting with people emotionally, enabling them to be heard”
2) My artwork is accessible to all online
3) Enabled me to explore more of my creativity